Dude, where's my 'fro?

My chief grievance today has been 'the do' - it was wot cud be described as a very bad hair day. You see the problem is at the slightest hint of moisture in the air my hair turns poker straight, flat & lifeless. Most people tell me they have the opposite problem & their do's are the product of hours of ironing. Im over straight hair-envy wot i'm looking for is a bit of va va voom. Wot I want above all else in the hair stakes is to have an afro for the day, just the day this is all I ask. Then I could bounce around with my curls with perhaps one of those funky coloured combs portruding at a jaunty little angle. Perhaps even a little sparrow might come & nest within then my hair would be truly satisfied!