Bad timing

We all know that famous saying, 'Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars' which is why perhaps I choose to put up with some of my boyfriends more unsavoury habits. It's a fact of nature after all that men haven't evolved all that far from their primitive cavemen routes! I manage to look past the toe nail picking (at least he doesn't sit in the lounge eating them like one of my male ex-housemates!) and the farting but as long as I can set certain perimeters:

1) Try to minimise the farting when I'm around - he attempts to look sheepish after the event but I know that inside he is not-so-secretly quite proud
2) Try to aim for a well ventilated place - my boyfriend thought he was onto a winner when he would do it whenever I left the room until upon my return I was hit by a wall of odour
And 3) Definitely no farting in my bed! I'll have none of this cocking of the leg & sneakily lifting up the edge of the duvet cover to subtely waft in out - your covers blown & I'm on to you!

So with these few simple rules in place I was confident that I had my man well trained - or as well as can be expected at least! Little did I know that nothing can prepare you for a fart that squeaks out just as your man is cuming (I kid you not!) In the shock and sheer horror of the moment I did not know how to react - my immediate reaction was to laugh hysterically and roll about on the floor crying to myself. Scratch that, the supposed intimate 'poist-coital' moments are not ones for laughing at the expense of your partner. So, like a trooper, I sucked it up (not literally!) aligned my face so that it didn't give the game away, screwed my eyes up & gave him a little congratulatory kiss - for the sex, not for the ill-timed fart I'd like to add! As we pulled away I gave him a few moments to rearrange & sort himself out before we fell into the customary post-sex spoon. And at this point I couldn't hold it in any longer it started as a snicker, then a splutter and then I was gone. The poor guy - he knew it, I knew it, he had hoped for a few precious moments that he had got away with it, but no! His mortified face was enough to let me know that his farting etiquette would be improving from now on in order that he hoped this unfortunate tale would never have to surface again!