If only I was hard core. . .

If only I was hard core, then I could go to the concerts of bands I've never heard of & nod in time with everyone else. I could throw myself into a mosh pit & think it was amazin when I got punched in the face and trampled on the floor. I could get sweaty, become drenched in beer & still have a great nite. I could get away with caking on layers of eyeliner and always wearing black (which is just not my colour!). I would fancy boys with silly fringes, lip piercings & emotional problems. If only I was like my sister who goes to "the wedge" on a Thursday and gets drunk just for the lols & dances with guys called Lily.
But alas, I'm forever condemned to be a girly girl. Perhaps tomorrow I will attempt to be a bad ass chick GRR!

Anything for a bit of drama in my life?

I just found out that a girl I used to know well has upped & left this country to start a new life in Australia. After some really bad stuff happened to her - her Dad tried to commit suicide after her Mum said that she was going to leave him and as a result my friend suffered from depression & insomnia (it was all very nasty stuff) - she decided to cut all ties, dropped out of college & now has dreadlocks & is living in a mud hut just outside of Sydney - no word of a lie! Now thats what I call an amzing life-changing decision to have that courage just to start all over again.

I used to wonder why nothing radical ever happened in my life. Sure I'm happy, but nothing dramatic ever happens to me. . .until the other night that is. I had just watched a show in the city centre with a friend & we were looking for sumwhere to eat at about 10:30. Suddenly we are approached by a couple the man crosses over the road, but the woman carries on towards us. My friend whispers that she hopes she isn't headed in our direction. Suddenly she shouts to me 'You accused my brother of raping you, you slut.' Now I don't no if this was a case of drunken mistaken identity or if she was simply looking for a fight, but I'd never seen this woman before in my life. Before I even had time to utter my protests she had grabbed me by the hair and flung me against the wall. Luckily the friend I was with is an athlete & a but of a gym bunny. She managed to pull the woman off me at which point the woman then turned on her. I kept shouting at her to just walk away as i tried to get her away from my firned. My friend managed to hit her round the head with her car keys at which point we hurried away very shaken by what had just happened.

I was shocked because when I'm out I'm always particularly wary of groups of men - I'd never have expected a woman to act in that way. More shocking was the fact that the man she was with sat on the other side of the road just watching her attack us. He made no attempt to intervene or try & restrain her. I think you could definitely say I've learnt my lesson - Big world + little me = as much drama as I can handle!

Cute Old Couples

I get such a warm fuzzy feeling when I see a little old couple walking down the street hand in hand. They just look like soul mates :) These days its so easy to get disillusioned with marriage especially with divorce rates rocketing. Its sometimes good to be reminded that marriages can still work 30/40 or even 50 years down the line! More power to those who commit there life to another person.

I had a sad moment though the other day as I was standing in the queue for Starbucks (which was incidentally snaking out the door grr!). I noticed a little old couple sat opposite each other on a table. The husband was staring out the window and the wife was staring into space. In the good 10 minutes I was there neither made eye contact or spoke a word to one another. You see it in restaurants too - a middle aged couple have made time from there hectic schedules to go out for an evening together but then find that now the kids have upped & left they have nothing in common anymore (maybe I'm over analysing or reading too much into that situation!). Its sad to think though that they have nothing to say to one another. I guess this presents the other side of the story & its so easy to see how the passion & love can fade with time :(

I hope I end up like the cute old couple & not a lonely old spinster with only my house full of cats for company!

Thought of the day: 'Is gentle something you touch, or something that touches you?'

Andrew in my pocket

I just wish I could bundle up Andrew Lloyd Webber & carry him around with me in my pocket wherever I go. He would put a permanent smile on my face as he is just the cutest little gremlin of a man that i have ever seen. His mannerisms are hilarious & when he gets that little twinkle in his eye. . .

Magical Movie Moments

If life was like the movies wouldn't everything be so much simpler?! Here are some movie moments I think every girl shud b entitled 2:

> Spontaneous outburst of song & dance:- if every1 knew all the words & all the choreography then we cud all have a perfect musical moment whenever we wanted.

> Kissing in the rain:- against all odds you've finally got your man. Then, as you go in 4 that perfect movie kiss the heavens open. Just think 4 Weddings & a Funeral or the Notebook

> Theme tune (shudnt every1 hav 1!!):- you've just walked out on your sleazy cheating ex-boyfriend/boss in true Bridget Jones style to the music of your very own theme tune. After that kind of an exit how cud u not go on to find a Mr Darcy look-a-like

> The shampoo ad moment:- you're sauntering down the street in a pair of killer heels. You flick your hair like sumthing out of the L'Oreal adverts ('because I'm worth it'). Every1 stops 2 stare and a passing cyclist rides into a lamp post (Not sure this is from a movie, but it just shud be!)

> Last dance:- the heroine is feeling sorry for herself and her hero has no doubt made a mess of things. Suddenly, the band strikes up that final song and the girl is swept off her feet as all is forgiven. For this moment we onli hav 2 look to the that timeless classic that is Dirty Dancing - "No one puts Baby in a corner!"

Thought of the day: 'Days last for hours, moments last forever'

The art of people watching

If you are ever stuck sumwhere waiting 2 meet sum1 or just hav a few hours to burn one of the greatest time-passers is people watching. People are just so fascinating!!! I do consider people watching to be a fine art & one which I plan to refine over the years. Here are the basics for all beginners out there:

> Its all about location. . .location. . .location! You want to choose a spot where there is going to be a diverse range of interesting people e.g. a tube station or a shopping centre
> You are going to need some form of disguise by this i don't mean sum sort of undercover spy type outfit of all-out camouflage, but something that makes people think that you're not analysing them (which of course exactly what you are doing). For example a mahoosive pair of designer sunglasses a la Lynsay Lohan and no1 wud be any the wiser. if you're not into the whole Bug's Life look a magazine or frapuccino wud work well here as a good diversion.
> A high-powered hearing aid or ear trumpet wud indeed prove useful in many situations but I usually find that alert, pricked up ears will suffice. If you have abnormally large ears you r already at an immediate advantage
> Peripheral vision & a wide field of view is needed so as much can be taken in as possible
> An unphased, diffident expression is key (this is hard to master & should therefore be practised daily in front of a mirror) as an intense stare can often freak people out & make them think that u are in sum way threatening them or are a creepy paedo-like character to be avoided at all costs.

10 things to do when I'm 80

I look forward to old age so much that I have actually pre-empted by days spent as a post 80 year old. With age comes experience & I will certainly no how 2 hav a gd time :)
So, here it is 10 things to do once one hits 80:

1) Go shopping with my wicker basket in tow
2) Exploit the OAP afternoon at UCI cinemas where they give out free tea & biscuits in the intermission
3) Terrorise pedestrians in my motorised scooter complete with balaclava fashioned from a tea cosy hat, rather like the crazed hijacker granny from the Irn Bru adverts on the tele
4) Always smell of lavender as is the custom among old ladies
5) Get a blue rinse & have my hair styled in that classic, timeless perm
6) Hang out in the bingo halls with gentlemen sporting comb-overs - i find them very attractive
7) Brandish my walking stick & use it to threaten those young whipper-snappers
8) Perfect my knitting technique & perhaps advance on to making a frumpy over-sized cardigan which will soon become moth-eaten (I will probably still where it tho because I will fashion myself on a bag lady. They are my idols. New trends r ridiculous far too much navel on show 4 my liking)
9) Drink excessive amounts of prune juice & very weak tea
10) Keep my false teeth in a glass next 2 my bed & add a tablet so that they fizz menacingly