A lot of hot air

Out for a meal, you are trying to focus on the conversation going on at your table but I find my attention tends to wonder around the restaurant to other tables. Its not that the topic of conversation isnt highly stimulating (well. . .) it's just that all the other people are fascinating too! Like the awkward date going on at the table opposite in which not one word is said throughout the main course - we've all been there & its too cringy & compelling not to keep watching. Then there's the native american family to the left. No, realli the father has plaits in his beard, do people live like native american's in England? hmm interesting. Finally there's a man next to us holding a conversation with himself, that is he is talking at his partner - she is either riveted by his take on a whole manner of topics including the pay back time for solar pannels or she is bored to tears & has fallen into a silent stupour. I suspect it is the latter. Tickled as I was by one of his statements I shall share it with you.
"They say (who 'they' are I don't have the foggiest) you can't put a price on human life & yet insurance companies have already done just that. AND, ironically enough, it doesn't rise with inflation."
Well, fancy :P

The bird lady & her xmas tale of woe

On my stroll to the corner shop some mornings I pass a large middle-aged lady riding in a buggy - the poor love her legs are obviously no longer able to support her considerable weight so she has to manouvre in one of those shop mobility scooter things. So this morning I was casually glancing at the paper whilst eating my breakfast when who do I see staring back at me but the exact same lady. The story went that she had been out doing her xmas shopping and unable to carry all the bags had placed her 12lb turkey in the front basket of her scooter. On her way back down the street the sheer weight of the turkey had caused the basket to snap & the turkey to fall onto the controls of her scooter. The pressing on these buttons sent her scooter careering off the pavement & into the road into the path of the incoming traffic. It was a miracle she wasn't hurt. I shouldn't laugh but realli! Unable to contain this tale of woe I recounted it to a friend amidst a fit of giggles as she is a minor celeb around these parts with her peroxide blonde locks.

A few days later my friend calls me up only to tell me that passing that very same road in the afternoon she witnessed the event I had described being reconstructed - amazing! Were they making a documentary to raise awareness of the dangers of carrying 12lb turkeys in scooter baskets? Or maybe it was a crime watch film appealing for witnesses to this henious crime?

Overheard conversations

Let me set the scene. . .so me & a friend are travelling back from a netball game when she gets a craving for ham & sweetcorn (as you do!) so we pull over to stop at a Co-op. We collect said items & head over to the till where they are having loads of problems with the debit card swiper machines. Its all a bit chaotic & the old lady behind us is getting a bit irate muttering 'back in my day. . .' Then this quite suave looking man in a long coat (on closer inspection he is really just a bit sleazy looking - easy mistake to make!) walks in & goes over to one of cashiers & the following conversation unfolds:
Co-op girl: "Oh, you've come at a really bad time"
Sleazy bloke: "I aaaaaaaalways come at the wrong time"

The definition of innapropriate. . .

. . . discovering your parents having sex in the hot tub? Luckily it wasnt my misfortune to have happened upon this but a close friend of mines. I guess you reach a certain age when you realise its a good thing really that your parents are still enjoying a healthy sex life, but even still you don't want to find them at it!

Why do the gd girls always go 4 the bad boys??

To quote a favourite No Doubt lyric of mine: 'Why do the good girls always go for the bad boys?' Its true isnt it? - You meet a bad boy, get drawn in helplessly, begin destructive relationship, he breaks your heart, you mend slowly before the cycle begins again. It's sad & tragic but then why does it happen so often to the strong woman in todays society - are we all just hopeless in love. Is it because we are afraid of waiting for one of the nice, decent guys to come along?
My bad guy isnt particularly rock & roll: there are no piercings, tatoos, motorbikes or criminal records. However, he does enjoy the look on my face when he describes poo fetish porn, he wees up my neighbours wall (not that this is much of a problem other than the principle as i don't particularly like sed neighbour anyway!), he writes explicit messages on the roof of my car which I wake up to in the morning & can never quite rememba how they got there, drinks vodka red bulls like they are going out of fashion & then vividly describes how he's just thrown up his guts in the toilet before ordering another drink at the bar, innapropriately grinds with the entire club & in the hot tub the following morning discusses whether or not he should get his back, sack & crack waxed (i point out at this point that his ass could do with it!). . .
. . . & depsite all of this I'm drawn in helplessly.

Miracle cream

I have made an important discovery which has revolutionalised my skin-care regime (ok so not realli ground breaking stuff, but still!). . .its SUDOCREAM! No, honestly apply liberally at night before you go to sleep & ladies you will wake up with skin that feels smooth, fresh, rejuvinated and blemish-free. Forget these expensive named-brand products with their so called active ingredients which claim to 'turn-bak-the-hands-of-time' (if only!) & iron out your wrinkles cheap & cheerful sudocream is the way forward - too good to waste on the babies nappy!

It's my latest beauty secret so pass it on. . .

Thought of the day: "As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Nelson Mandela.

Bring the rave bak around (because i no how i feel about you now)

I had my first experience of a rave last nite & have decided that I want to be bright, neon & shiny (8) Forever eva & eva eva, Forever eva eva! (8) I clearly missed out on THE great nightlife decade. This is why I think we shud bring rave culture bak around:

• The music is insane (but doesnt quite hav the same effect wen u turn it up loud on ur home stereo mid-afternoon the next day why is that??!) Pendulum was definitely one to crank up - turn it up LOUD


• The clothes are outrageous - where else wud u be able to get away with leopard print tights, leg warmers, glitter, pimp hat & neon heels & not be asked 'How much darling?' ! (Ah wait that did happen after all :P)


• Every1 lets go & dances like a crazy person. 'How to dance at a rave' (search it on youtube - do it do it now!) is an absolute must-see or perhaps its onli strange swedish ppl that dance like this! Anyway my personal faves are the bicycle pump & ping-pong - one word, AMAZING


• You get to spray neon, UV paint everywhere & generally make a mess


• Experimenting with spandex, hair dye, eyeliner & nail polish is encouraged even amongst the guys who actually seem to get more into it than the girls :S (WARNING: check on the package first that the hair dye will wash out as 20 hair washes and a suspension from college later & my friend is still attempting to remove pink hair dye using bleach & any number of other products!!!)


• You get to glow in the dark & flash all at the same time which is perfect if you thrive as the centre of attention - go on release your inner Diva!


• Its all very liberal & free thinking - the girl who held the party comes out as being gay then the DJ announces that she is too & suddenly every1 wants to get involved!


• You get to blow rave whistles - whistle for a hottie whoop whoop!

Phew, well after all that excitement all I can say is - bring on the 'Old Skwl' Party next weekend & since I was an 80s love child i shall expect i will fit right in :)

Thought of the day: "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure." Nelson Mandela

Spudding

This post is in recognition of what i propose shud b the latest & bestest (great english!) in a ridiculous set of words to make it into the Oxford English dictionary. We know have bootylicious, minging and yummy mummy for heavens sakes so why can't my new favourite word be entered:

Spud (noun) - no, not a slang name for a potatoe (!) but a person with a particularly poor pulling technique. A 'spud' will come onto a member of the oppoisite sex in such a way as it makes it extremely embarssing for all involved: the victim, the 'spudder' & all those who have the misfortune of observing this feat. Usually a 'spud' is under the influence of some intoxicating substance but this is not a good enough excuse for their actions

Spudding (verb) - flirting/teasing or indeed grinding on that dancefloor which is deemed to be innapropriate becasuse either:
a) you are spoken for & shud not be encouraging the other person
b) other person is spoken for & you are actually very good firends with their other half (supposedly) - this may hav particularly bad consequences
c) the other person is much younger than you & however cute you deem them to be what you are doing is verging on the illegal/paedophilic - this cud lead to arrest
d) those damned beer goggles mean that the hottie actually turns out to be hairier, a foot shorter and indeed a gd few feet wider than u remebered them being last nite - ur conscientious friends will enjoy bringin this point up in the morning

We've all been spuds in our time, the english language has just been lacking a word to describe it (flirting just doens't quite cover it does it?) Well here we have it so start spreading the word!


Thought of the day: "Where of one cannot speak, there of one must be silent" Ludwig Wittgenstein

Messy Hair

So wot does messy hair say about you?? (by messy i mean backcombed into a birds nest to achieved that 'I've-just-been-dragged-through-a-bush-backwards' look but hey don't I look cool - ah, well here's the thing you don't).
I'll tell you wot it say to me it says: I'm a public school girl, I do art & drama & therefore when I talk I like to express myself with my hands, my daddy wears tweed & takes the dog hunting & shooting at weekends, I wear men's shirts & yet IM A GIRL, I have that Ralph Lauren polo shirt/jumper combo in every colour, I try so hard to look like I've just stepped out of a Jack Wills catalogue, my speech is interspersed with 'Yar' or is it 'Yah' (are you a pirate??) I like to pretend I can play tennis but really I'm seriously malco-ordinated so I play lacrosse instead & wear my hoody to prove it on the beach, I spend my summers in Newquay with my friends who all look like clones & play Jack Penate from my old skwl ghetto blaster on the beach, I have stupid amounts of money - more than I no wot to do with, putting a nice little dent in daddy's credit card is my hobby.
The other day I was sat across from one such person I believe the new term is Sloanie (is it wrong that I feel an immediate dislike upon sight?? - quite possibly) & was marvelling that any1 cud pull off such hair. I assumed it was just one of those I've just got out of bed & happen to look like this kind of things - how wrong I was! My kindly sympathetic friend explained the meticulous painstaking process that goes into creating such a hair-vision. Apparently girl in question has naturally afro hair. So, in order to create messy hair first she must blow dry it, straighten it, before backcombing, scrunching, spraying & then securing mop with oversized clip.
We can only marvel in awe. . . (Sorry for the rant!)


Thought of the day: "Faith is believing when there is nothing else you can do"

Girl Crush

In a follow up to my previous post I was surprised to see that the topic was explored in the Sunday Times Style magazine. In reference to pictures of Maggie Gyllenhaal in Agent Provocateur underwear the journalist writes, "These pictures acknowledge the fact that girls fancy girls. Oh, ladies - but we do don't we? We don't talk about it much - even to our closest friends. But most of us, and I speak here of girls who generally like boys more, have, at some point, harboured a crush on another woman." She goes on to point out that, "Girl-fancying has zero to do with hot lezzer lust you see splashed on the cover of nuts. That's just crude male titillation (what a great word - note to self: use this more in general conversation whatever it may mean!)
Apparently, "The girls we'd go gay for aren't the idealised versions of womanhood that men get off on - they are super-improved versions of ourselves. . .Angelina Jolie (my old school friend listen up!) is a top girl crush because she's powerful, in charge of herself and a wildcat!!"
The journalist finishes with the critical crunch question, "Would we go there? . . . if (your crush) turned up on your doorstep promising to take you places you'd never been before - yes or no?" Places I've never been before?! - it sounds exhilerating! I think my answer would be a resounding yes please!

Thought of the day: "Better to aim for the top and miss than aim for mediocracy and hit"

Crossing over

Have you ever played the game would you rather. . . No? Well i'll give you an example. Someone asks the group would you rather. . .lose a foot or lose a hand or maybe would you rather. . . drown or be burned? The subsequent conversation is guarenteed to fill the most awkward silences & spark heated debate & discussion. So the other day my friend poses me the question would you rather become a lesbian or remain straight but not be with another man for the rest of your life? Without hesitation I reply that I would turn lesbian - after all no one wants to be lonely for the rest of their lives & after attending an all girls school until I was 16 the idea is not so horrific to me! However my friend appears genuinely shocked.

Another popular game from the girls school days was if you had to go with another woman who would it be? After much uncomfortable squirming most people came up with an answer - adding, to hide the embarassment, only if they really had to of course. One of my friends used to boldly state that if Angelina Jolie came along she just would, hands down, no questions asked. This used to make me think & I've come to the conclusion that Pink would be my choice, hands down, no questions asked. Maybe its the boyish hair or the rock chick attitude that does it for me :S - I think I just would!

Thought of the day: "Do today what others won't and live tomorrow like others can't."

Friends forever?

At what point do you realise that you can no longer call someone a friend? Is it when it dawns on you that you no longer have much in common? Or when you realise that you have drifted so far apart that you have turned into two completely different people, with different ideas on how to have a good time. Is it time to call it a day when she downs her body weight in Sambuca, jumps on the nearest thing with a penis & then trys to get involved in a fight. Perhaps its when she expects you to be the one to drag her semi-conscious, intoxicated body into a taxi after a night of irresponsible drinking on her part & that you do it, but only begrudgingly. Or maybe its when it strikes you that she is only going to turn into her mother who encourages you to go out when you are underage and then asks her daughter if shes had a good night as she is throwing up the entire contents of her stomach in the bathroom sink. Is it when you can justify borrowing money from her purse for your train fare home in the morning before she wakes up knowing full well that she is not going to have memory of how much she spent the previous night.
Hmm. . .I think I've made my choice anyway.

Thought of the day: "In matters of no consequence swim with the current but in matters of principal stand like a rock."

Resurgance of the WI?

I was amazed today to discover that young women of my generation still hold no ambitions other than to be a housewife & regard this as the perfect lifesyle. Is it excusable, given the huge numbers of oppurtunities & career paths in front of the modern woman, only to aspire to be a stay-at-home mum or a trophy wife? The discussion in question turned to how they would spend their leisure time: days spent at the spa, joining the WI, baking victoria sponges, pruning the rockery, making jam, taking yoga classes & growing prize organic cucumbers which they would enter into the local fete! Oh, & don't forget the charity work (just so they feel like they have achieved something with their lives. Good deed of the day & all that!) - how very noble. I, for one, feel that women through the centuries haven't fought for equality (they even have equal pay at Wimbledon now for God's sake) for our generation to live off our husbands income. The stereotypes of a woman's role being cooking and cleaning have long been broken down. Isn't it far better to be an independant, driven woman who isn't reliant on a man to put a roof over her head? Seeing as the Spice Girls have just announced a reunion tour I feel it is necessary to add a 'Girl Power!'

Thought of the day: 'It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.'

If only I was hard core. . .

If only I was hard core, then I could go to the concerts of bands I've never heard of & nod in time with everyone else. I could throw myself into a mosh pit & think it was amazin when I got punched in the face and trampled on the floor. I could get sweaty, become drenched in beer & still have a great nite. I could get away with caking on layers of eyeliner and always wearing black (which is just not my colour!). I would fancy boys with silly fringes, lip piercings & emotional problems. If only I was like my sister who goes to "the wedge" on a Thursday and gets drunk just for the lols & dances with guys called Lily.
But alas, I'm forever condemned to be a girly girl. Perhaps tomorrow I will attempt to be a bad ass chick GRR!

Anything for a bit of drama in my life?

I just found out that a girl I used to know well has upped & left this country to start a new life in Australia. After some really bad stuff happened to her - her Dad tried to commit suicide after her Mum said that she was going to leave him and as a result my friend suffered from depression & insomnia (it was all very nasty stuff) - she decided to cut all ties, dropped out of college & now has dreadlocks & is living in a mud hut just outside of Sydney - no word of a lie! Now thats what I call an amzing life-changing decision to have that courage just to start all over again.

I used to wonder why nothing radical ever happened in my life. Sure I'm happy, but nothing dramatic ever happens to me. . .until the other night that is. I had just watched a show in the city centre with a friend & we were looking for sumwhere to eat at about 10:30. Suddenly we are approached by a couple the man crosses over the road, but the woman carries on towards us. My friend whispers that she hopes she isn't headed in our direction. Suddenly she shouts to me 'You accused my brother of raping you, you slut.' Now I don't no if this was a case of drunken mistaken identity or if she was simply looking for a fight, but I'd never seen this woman before in my life. Before I even had time to utter my protests she had grabbed me by the hair and flung me against the wall. Luckily the friend I was with is an athlete & a but of a gym bunny. She managed to pull the woman off me at which point the woman then turned on her. I kept shouting at her to just walk away as i tried to get her away from my firned. My friend managed to hit her round the head with her car keys at which point we hurried away very shaken by what had just happened.

I was shocked because when I'm out I'm always particularly wary of groups of men - I'd never have expected a woman to act in that way. More shocking was the fact that the man she was with sat on the other side of the road just watching her attack us. He made no attempt to intervene or try & restrain her. I think you could definitely say I've learnt my lesson - Big world + little me = as much drama as I can handle!

Cute Old Couples

I get such a warm fuzzy feeling when I see a little old couple walking down the street hand in hand. They just look like soul mates :) These days its so easy to get disillusioned with marriage especially with divorce rates rocketing. Its sometimes good to be reminded that marriages can still work 30/40 or even 50 years down the line! More power to those who commit there life to another person.

I had a sad moment though the other day as I was standing in the queue for Starbucks (which was incidentally snaking out the door grr!). I noticed a little old couple sat opposite each other on a table. The husband was staring out the window and the wife was staring into space. In the good 10 minutes I was there neither made eye contact or spoke a word to one another. You see it in restaurants too - a middle aged couple have made time from there hectic schedules to go out for an evening together but then find that now the kids have upped & left they have nothing in common anymore (maybe I'm over analysing or reading too much into that situation!). Its sad to think though that they have nothing to say to one another. I guess this presents the other side of the story & its so easy to see how the passion & love can fade with time :(

I hope I end up like the cute old couple & not a lonely old spinster with only my house full of cats for company!

Thought of the day: 'Is gentle something you touch, or something that touches you?'

Andrew in my pocket

I just wish I could bundle up Andrew Lloyd Webber & carry him around with me in my pocket wherever I go. He would put a permanent smile on my face as he is just the cutest little gremlin of a man that i have ever seen. His mannerisms are hilarious & when he gets that little twinkle in his eye. . .

Magical Movie Moments

If life was like the movies wouldn't everything be so much simpler?! Here are some movie moments I think every girl shud b entitled 2:

> Spontaneous outburst of song & dance:- if every1 knew all the words & all the choreography then we cud all have a perfect musical moment whenever we wanted.

> Kissing in the rain:- against all odds you've finally got your man. Then, as you go in 4 that perfect movie kiss the heavens open. Just think 4 Weddings & a Funeral or the Notebook

> Theme tune (shudnt every1 hav 1!!):- you've just walked out on your sleazy cheating ex-boyfriend/boss in true Bridget Jones style to the music of your very own theme tune. After that kind of an exit how cud u not go on to find a Mr Darcy look-a-like

> The shampoo ad moment:- you're sauntering down the street in a pair of killer heels. You flick your hair like sumthing out of the L'Oreal adverts ('because I'm worth it'). Every1 stops 2 stare and a passing cyclist rides into a lamp post (Not sure this is from a movie, but it just shud be!)

> Last dance:- the heroine is feeling sorry for herself and her hero has no doubt made a mess of things. Suddenly, the band strikes up that final song and the girl is swept off her feet as all is forgiven. For this moment we onli hav 2 look to the that timeless classic that is Dirty Dancing - "No one puts Baby in a corner!"

Thought of the day: 'Days last for hours, moments last forever'

The art of people watching

If you are ever stuck sumwhere waiting 2 meet sum1 or just hav a few hours to burn one of the greatest time-passers is people watching. People are just so fascinating!!! I do consider people watching to be a fine art & one which I plan to refine over the years. Here are the basics for all beginners out there:

> Its all about location. . .location. . .location! You want to choose a spot where there is going to be a diverse range of interesting people e.g. a tube station or a shopping centre
> You are going to need some form of disguise by this i don't mean sum sort of undercover spy type outfit of all-out camouflage, but something that makes people think that you're not analysing them (which of course exactly what you are doing). For example a mahoosive pair of designer sunglasses a la Lynsay Lohan and no1 wud be any the wiser. if you're not into the whole Bug's Life look a magazine or frapuccino wud work well here as a good diversion.
> A high-powered hearing aid or ear trumpet wud indeed prove useful in many situations but I usually find that alert, pricked up ears will suffice. If you have abnormally large ears you r already at an immediate advantage
> Peripheral vision & a wide field of view is needed so as much can be taken in as possible
> An unphased, diffident expression is key (this is hard to master & should therefore be practised daily in front of a mirror) as an intense stare can often freak people out & make them think that u are in sum way threatening them or are a creepy paedo-like character to be avoided at all costs.

10 things to do when I'm 80

I look forward to old age so much that I have actually pre-empted by days spent as a post 80 year old. With age comes experience & I will certainly no how 2 hav a gd time :)
So, here it is 10 things to do once one hits 80:

1) Go shopping with my wicker basket in tow
2) Exploit the OAP afternoon at UCI cinemas where they give out free tea & biscuits in the intermission
3) Terrorise pedestrians in my motorised scooter complete with balaclava fashioned from a tea cosy hat, rather like the crazed hijacker granny from the Irn Bru adverts on the tele
4) Always smell of lavender as is the custom among old ladies
5) Get a blue rinse & have my hair styled in that classic, timeless perm
6) Hang out in the bingo halls with gentlemen sporting comb-overs - i find them very attractive
7) Brandish my walking stick & use it to threaten those young whipper-snappers
8) Perfect my knitting technique & perhaps advance on to making a frumpy over-sized cardigan which will soon become moth-eaten (I will probably still where it tho because I will fashion myself on a bag lady. They are my idols. New trends r ridiculous far too much navel on show 4 my liking)
9) Drink excessive amounts of prune juice & very weak tea
10) Keep my false teeth in a glass next 2 my bed & add a tablet so that they fizz menacingly

Changing rooms

Just what exactly is 'Feng Shui?' Its a question I asked myself when it came to decorating my room recently. Id heard mention of it in all these celebrity magazines (for example Madonna wud be Feng Shui-ing her english mansion whilst meditating in this weeks favourite yoga position and playing with her Kabbalah beads) without fully ever understanding what it meant. So I decided to run it past Wikipedia (an absolute God-send of a website especially when it cums 2 essay writing). The given definittion of Feng shui was as follows:

Feng shui, pronounced in English as "fung shway" is the ancient chinese practice of placement and arrangement of space to achieve harmony with the environment. The literal translation is "wind and water".

Whilst the idea of achiveing harmony with my environment is quite appealing I'm quite sceptical as to whether this can be achieve through different combos of arrangin my bed & other furniture. So, I decided to take the more mainstream approach of turning to Dulux.com after being enticed by there fabulous (as in fabulous darling said in my best-camp-interior-designer-a-la-Justin-&-Colin voice) adverts. Did you know you can take a colour chemistry quiz to find out what colour you are in order that you can then decorate your room to reflect your personality - neat huh?!

Apparently I'm an Urban experimentalist! Just from asking 6 questions Dulux.com claims it has revealed by entire personality! It says:
Sunny and gregarious you have the confidence that comes from not being afraid to be yourself. You are always up to date with trends and fashion. Just like your wardrobe, you see your home as the perfect canvas to express your personality and sense of style.

It didnt give me many colour schemes tips tho unfortunately & i found myself swamped & rather intimidated by the shear number of colour charts. My latest situation is that my window has been fitted, the plasterer is coming round next weekend, my furniture has been delivered & yet im still without a colour scheme. So, any budding interior designers floating around in cyber space?? I'd very much love any kind of inspiration!

Diet doctor

I'm having serious cravings at the moment for anything remotely sweet tasting. This comes from the fact that my cupboards are home 2 every variety of health food imaginable as my sister & dad have decided to embark on a 'lose-weight-by-torturing-ourselves' campaign. After sampling almost the entire Sainsbury's 'be good to yourself range' I have come to the conclusion that calories taste nice. You may be being 'good 2 yourself' by consumin this rabbit food/cardboard mutation but in the process you are abusing your taste buds. Don't be fooled either, when it invitingly says on the packet 'only natural flavours' what it really means is no flavour what-so-ever. Dieting requires more will-power than i'll ever have.

Its interestin that science has proven that eating certain types of foods such as chocolate releases endorphines into the bloodstream. I must say that eating & good food in general certainly makes me happy :) all the money in the world cudnt make me becum anorexic i lv food too much. my food of choice is breakfast cereal (altho I do not restrict myself to eating this purely in the mornin!) whereas my Mums is cheese Snack 'a' Jacks. Her obsseions with these is rather bizarre. She goes thru about 3-4 packs of these things a week. God knows what it must be doing to her insides bcoz i hav had the unfortunate experience of seeing what it does to her teeth and breath. I imagine it will be sumthin rather like that vile smokin advert from the TV where the tar is squeezed out of the artery. Instead it will be cheesy orange sludge being squeezy from her gut. mmmm a luvly thought!

Magazines who cram their pages full of how-to-achieve-that-perfect-bikini-body-in-10-days annoy me. Am I just looking at things too simply bcoz the answer to weight loss seems obvious to me: eat less & exercise more! Its crazy to think how many people have made millions out of the diet/health food industry. Like that little shrew Gillian McKeith!

Oh & by the way does any1 else hate that feeling u get when you eat chewing gum on an empty stomach & u feel like ur stomach is eating itself?! Hmm probably not the best idea to do this thinking about it!

I wish my life was a musical!

I wish my life was a musical! Then everyone would know all the lyrics and every dance move and we would all be able 2 have a spontaneous outburst of song & dance in a public place where every1 joins in. Ever wanted 2 dance till you drop Footloose style?

A small insight into girls toilets

I love random chats in the girls loos - guys you'll just never quite understand. Its best when you encounter sum1 you would never normally talk 2 & strike up a conversation about the ways of the world whilst applyin ur mascara & a fresh coat of lipgloss in the mirror! Yes i'm easily plsed.

I missed my girls skwl today after encountering a girl from the yr below who was telling me in a rather emotionally unattached way how she had just been dumped by her boyfriend - he only knew about one of the other guys after all she complained. How things change.

As it says in 'Why men don't listen & women can't read maps' (an excellent & insightful read btw) by Allan & Barbara Pease:
'When a man goes to the toilet he usually goes for one reason and one reason only. Women use toilets as social lounges and therapy rooms. Women who go to a toilet as strangers can come out best friends and lifelong buddies. But everyone would be instantly suspicious of a man who called out, "Hey Frank, I'm going to the toilet. You wanna come with me?" '

Thought of the day: 'Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.'